This is a difficult time of year for me, I must admit. I still don’t know exactly why I get moodier as we approach the end of the calendar year. Is it the waning daylight hours? The dropping temperatures? The snow piling up in the driveway? Is it just the booze talking? Or is it the lump in my head, the “ineligible dependent” whispering dark things to my subconscious while I’m out in the garage mixing oil and gas together in some arcane ratio in order to refuel my snowblower?
It’s probably organic food. I really need to stop eating that crap.
But, whatever the reason, the lump or the booze, I sit up on Mount Crumpet HATING the Whos. Well, maybe not “hate”. Hate is a strong word, better reserved for family. But it is the time of year when I grow a little wearier with people who aren’t willing to do the simple things it takes to be good planetary citizens. The people who don’t cover their mouths while they are hacking up a lung in the elevator you’re sharing with them. The folks who cut into line and pat themselves on the back for being self-assertive winners. The souls who show up at my door trying to sell me everything from deities to deadbolts, and who are offended and baffled when I point to the NO SOLICITATION sign on my mailbox.
This is just a day in the human anthill that is civilization. Nothing to see here, please disperse. I get that. But, when placed on top of the other natural changes that occur in my neck of the woods, these are the weeks where my normally sunny disposition (you in the back, quit laughing or you’ll be escorted out) turns into something resembling the substance that exists in the center of a golf ball; dark, mysterious, and potentially lethal if ingested.
Because of this, I become somewhat more insular when it comes to my dealings with humanity during this time. Internet shopping is definitely a boon in these dark days, as there is very little that you can’t order online and have delivered to your door… and if you can’t get it, chances are you don’t need it to survive.
It’s actually a little scary what you can buy and have brought to your home. Last year, Vector ordered a stewardess. She arrived in under two hours, and the uniform looked pretty damn authentic.
Anyways, I don’t want you to fret. This blue funk will only last so long, and will eventually be conquered by that magical time that occurs just before Christmas… as long as Bioware releases Star Wars: The Old Republic on December 20 as promised. Otherwise, THERE WILL BE BLOOD.
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