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Binary Nation #01110000: Children’s (Meal) Crusade 

There is a new religion in the world today. It has its different sects and related cults. It has its moderates, who are doing what they think is right for them, and it has its fundamentalists who want to bully everyone into following their scripture. And speaking of scripture, every sect and cult has its holy books and literature which all manage to disagree with each other, even though they all say the same thing: this is the true way, the only way, that you should be. This new religion is food. And no matter what you’re currently eating or how you’re eating it, there are millions of worshippers ready to tell you you’re doing it wrong. Pic...

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Posted on March 22nd, 2016 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Binary Nation #01101111: Momentarily Awkward Silent Night 

Vector (which is his real name), Robert the Bruce (whose real name is neither Robert nor Bruce), Red Sonja (whose name is not Sonja, but who has red hair and owns a sword), and I were sitting on the floor around the low table in the living room, having a traditional mug of caffeinated eggnog which I call Caffnog (trademark pending). The fireplace had a curved monitor sitting in it, showing a looping video of a blazing Yule log. We had all given each other drones for our secret Santa gift exchange—which apparently isn’t very secret. We immediately bundled up and took our gifts outside to have an epic drone dogfight until they were all too damaged...

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Posted on December 23rd, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Binary Nation #01101110: The Case of the Missing Homophone 

The night was gloomier than a BlackBerry corporate earnings call, and wetter than an OtterBox. Normally I wouldn’t have met a client outside of my office. But, this odd Scandinavian would only meet me at a certain diner on a certain evening… and I had a certain empty bank account and certain bills past due to coerce me into meeting with him. Me? I’m Jack Dinn. I’m a private geek. It’s what I do to keep the Internet on. I stepped into the diner and shook rain from my jacket. The place was a throwback diner, a modern pastiche of a retro concept—kind of like this story. I spotted a guy sitting alone in a booth. His description matched...

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Posted on November 9th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Binary Nation #01101101: New Resolution—Vote No on 4K 

A few years ago, everyone involved in the visual entertainment industry was going ape-poop crazy over 3D movies. Hollywood and the consumer electronics manufacturers wanted all of us to run faster than a knock-off Rolex to our local Cineplex Barn (72 screens! Nothing on!) to watch movies with 3D glasses pasted over our peepers. That experience was supposed to inspire all of us to replace our crappy hi-definition home theatre gear with brand new 3D movie players hooked up to brand new 3D televisions, with maybe a new 3D games console you could control with an app on your new 3D tablet. 3D was, as we were breathlessly told by sweaty-faced marketing d...

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Posted on September 9th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Binary Nation #01101100: Let’s Give it a Shot 

Hello, my American friends. There has been a lot of talk recently about the gun problem, or the lack of a gun problem, in your country. You may have heard there will likely be more gun-related deaths than traffic-related deaths in America this year. You may have read that there have been over 60 mass murders involving firearms in the U.S. since 1982. You may have seen a map showing that six of the deadliest shootings in U.S. history have taken place in the last eight years. And so on. But, if there is a gun problem in America, there is no simple solution for it. You can’t just go around limiting people’s access to guns; what if the King of...

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Posted on July 27th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Binary Nation #01101011: Taylor-Made News 

*click* “Shortly after an intense IM conversation with music superstar Taylor Swift, Iranian president Hassan Rouhani announced the immediate, total abandonment of that country’s nuclear program. In a hastily composed statement for world media, President Rouhani wrote, “We misunderstood her wishes. We are now confident we are on the same page.” *click* “SeaWorld Entertainment, the company behind the massively popular theme parks released an official announcement that it is immediately ending all of its live animal attractions, and that all of its shows will now be performed by employees painted to look like dolphins, orcas, and other...

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Posted on June 26th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Binary Nation #01101010: Six Degrees of Convocation 

Hello graduates! Nice to be here with all of you this afternoon. Quick show of hands: how many of you went commando under your robes? Hmm. Less than I thought, actually. Must be a generational thing. Okay, first thing right off the bat—congratulations. You did it. You made it through four (or some number close to that) years of secondary school. You’ve earned a college degree. Every one of you is now officially overqualified to work at Cinnabon. Well, maybe not the Drama majors. I’m sorry. That’s a cheap shot, I know. Lots of people make jokes about the hireability of graduates who studied the Arts. The truth is, no matter what degree...

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Posted on May 26th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Binary Nation 01101001: The Grand Inquisitor DDS, DD – A One-Act Play 

(CURTAIN OPENS on a typical dentist’s cubicle. All of the usual trappings can be seen; x-ray machine, instrument tray, etc.  A nervous man is sitting upright in the dentist’s chair.) AJ (nervously reciting) I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. (Dentist enters stage right. He is a pleasant looking man, dressed in the professional garb of his practice.) DENTIST Ahh, hello AJ. How are you doing today. AJ Dantooine! They’re on Dantooine! (hangs head in shame) DENTIST I’m sorry? AJ There. I’ve told you where the Rebel base is. Are y...

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Posted on April 14th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Binary Nation #01101000: Storytellers 

When I was a kid, my mother once said to me: “Do you know how I know when you’re lying? Because your lips are moving.” This statement, which led me to undertake an obsessive, summer-long study of ventriloquism, had another unforeseen impact on my young mind. It planted a seed of self-identity that has since grown into an unwieldy plant-based metaphor creeping vine kind of thing. That is, it made me realize that I was a natural storyteller, and a lover of stories. I love a good story. Whether it’s captured on film, on the printed page, or told around a campfire at Camp Crystal Lake just before the slaughter begins, there is nothing mor...

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Posted on February 20th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Binary Nation #01100111 / CE$ $exy 

“I’ll tell you this,” Vector said after we’d received our brunch orders from the waitress, “the first person who says ‘Internet of Things’ to me, is taking a knee to the groin.” “That seems harsh,” I said, dredging a piece of steak through my over-easy eggs. “Understandable; beyond contestation, certainly. But harsh.” “Right in the crotch,” Vector vowed, digging into his breakfast chilli. Vector seldom brooks any nonsense, and I am not much of a nonsense brooker myself, which is why we usually get thrown out of the Consumer Electronics Show every year. The CES is a very nonsense-heavy affair, and it brings out the w...

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Posted on January 20th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)