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Binary Nation #01101000: Storytellers 

When I was a kid, my mother once said to me: “Do you know how I know when you’re lying? Because your lips are moving.” This statement, which led me to undertake an obsessive, summer-long study of ventriloquism, had another unforeseen impact on my young mind. It planted a seed of self-identity that has since grown into an unwieldy plant-based metaphor creeping vine kind of thing. That is, it made me realize that I was a natural storyteller, and a lover of stories. I love a good story. Whether it’s captured on film, on the printed page, or told around a campfire at Camp Crystal Lake just before the slaughter begins, there is nothing mor...

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Posted on February 20th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Binary Nation #01100111 / CE$ $exy 

“I’ll tell you this,” Vector said after we’d received our brunch orders from the waitress, “the first person who says ‘Internet of Things’ to me, is taking a knee to the groin.” “That seems harsh,” I said, dredging a piece of steak through my over-easy eggs. “Understandable; beyond contestation, certainly. But harsh.” “Right in the crotch,” Vector vowed, digging into his breakfast chilli. Vector seldom brooks any nonsense, and I am not much of a nonsense brooker myself, which is why we usually get thrown out of the Consumer Electronics Show every year. The CES is a very nonsense-heavy affair, and it brings out the w...

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Posted on January 20th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

#01100110/Auld Lang Sign-off 

When you look back at the top technology and science stories from the past twelve months, you discover that this year was pretty much just an incremental update to last year: 2014 was basically 2013.2. We’re still being spied on by our governments. Everyone still has a camera at all times. Our gadgets are slightly more powerful, but are still limited by the current state of battery technology. The companies that usually make a lot of money, well, they made a lot of money this year. Meet the new Apple, same as the old Apple. There were a lot of drones flying around in the news this year. Some of them were spy drones. Some of them were silent ass...

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Posted on December 8th, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Binary Nation #01100101: It’s All Nonsense 

As our planet skips along its merry way to a population of 8 billion people (which should happen in 2025, just over ten years from now), the chaos and lunacy is being captured by a remarkably efficient and proficient professional media industry, in concert with dedicated amateurs who blog and log the ever-growing manipulation and violence driving our species towards a bleak future of overpopulation, energy depletion, and the eventual breakdown of human civilization. It’s the news! The news is on! It’s always on these days, always available, updated every minute of every day. And, it’s all nonsense. “It’s all nonsense,” has become...

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Posted on November 7th, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Binary Nation #01100100 “Loopy” 

There are many different ways to be awoken. A few of them can be quite pleasant, particularly if another person is involved… or, if the aromas of fresh coffee and a hot breakfast are employed to gently rouse your brain into consciousness. But, these gentle interventions are the exception to the rule. The waking experience is, by its nature, usually less than pleasant. It generally involves alarm clocks, or the screaming of overly-entitled children who should already be off working in the coal mines or munitions factories, or the acrid smell of something burning, or the sudden drastic change in temperature that accompanies rising flood waters. O...

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Posted on October 8th, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

The Pig Out 

I met Vector for lunch last week, which for both of us usually happens around 4:00 PM based on our individual sleep patterns. The waitress came to our table and poured coffee. “What can I get you boys?” she asked. “Do you have those sandwiches, the ones with bacon in them?” I asked. “A BLT?” she asked. I narrowed my eyes. “I understand the ‘B’, given the context of my previous question. What are the ‘L’ and ‘T’, respectively?” “Lettuce and tomato,” she answered. I nodded my head slowly. “Okay,” I said. “Okay, let’s see where this goes.” She stood there patiently, pen and pad poised....

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Posted on August 20th, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Is Windows 8 Done For? 

It’s been less than two years since Windows 8 was released to the general public. Windows 8 was a bold move by Microsoft, its attempt to create a version of its massively popular operating system that could power multiple types of hardware, enabling the use of touchscreen PCs and tablets while maintaining support for conventional desktop users. Windows 8 was all about bringing a single OS to the desktop/tablet party, by offering a hybrid experience that could accommodate keyboards, mice, and fingertips. Windows 8 was the launch pad of Microsoft’s strategy to gain some relevance in the mobile computing market, a market dominated by Apple’s iPad...

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Posted on August 14th, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

This is a Title 

I am a writer. What does this mean? Well, it means many things. It means that I annoy my social media contacts by correcting the shoddy spelling and grammar in their posts. It means that I have a somewhat ludicrous amount of notebooks (the kind with paper in them, although I have a ludicrous amount of the other kind as well). It means that I’ve bought more dictionaries than vehicles in my lifetime. It means that I know what a gerund is. It means that in the upcoming zombie apocalypse, I will be the first member of my ragtag survivor group to be left behind when the really bad late-night surprise mass zombie attack comes, unless there is an alpha m...

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Posted on July 16th, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Commence la Festival 

“Hello graduating class of 2014. It’s a real honor to be here today, one of the best schools in the country. I’m very glad to be here, because commencement speeches count huge points against outstanding community service requirements.” “I never graduated from university. I went for two years, majoring in Public Drunkenness with a minor in Absenteeism. If I had graduated, I might have been an English teacher today. Given the current state of grade school education, I have to say that I much prefer being given the community service sentence mentioned earlier. Kids today are as familiar with the rules of grammar as Jenny McCarthy is with the...

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Posted on June 3rd, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)

Dinner Date 

Thanks for meeting me here tonight! I thought we could take some time to have a chat, you and I. Vector is off doing Vector stuff, which this evening involved a rented cube van and an EMP cannon, as he muttered something about "hidden checking account fees" before driving off. So come, have a seat. Let’s get caught up. Me? I’m doing all right. I am a fulltime freelance writer these days, which is kind of like giving yourself permission to starve. I kid! But, if you aren’t going to have that last biscuit… thank you, you’re very kind. I’ll just save half of it for later in the week. Did you want the crackers that came with your soup? N...

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Posted on April 23rd, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)