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Binary Nation #01101011: Taylor-Made News 

*click* “Shortly after an intense IM conversation with music superstar Taylor Swift, Iranian president Hassan Rouhani announced the immediate, total abandonment of that country’s nuclear program. In a hastily composed statement for world media, President Rouhani wrote, “We misunderstood her wishes. We are now confident we are on the same page.” *click* “SeaWorld Entertainment, the company behind the massively popular theme parks released an official announcement that it is immediately ending all of its live animal attractions, and that all of its shows will now be performed by employees painted to look like dolphins, orcas, and other...

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Posted on June 26th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)
 

Binary Nation #01101010: Six Degrees of Convocation 

Hello graduates! Nice to be here with all of you this afternoon. Quick show of hands: how many of you went commando under your robes? Hmm. Less than I thought, actually. Must be a generational thing. Okay, first thing right off the bat—congratulations. You did it. You made it through four (or some number close to that) years of secondary school. You’ve earned a college degree. Every one of you is now officially overqualified to work at Cinnabon. Well, maybe not the Drama majors. I’m sorry. That’s a cheap shot, I know. Lots of people make jokes about the hireability of graduates who studied the Arts. The truth is, no matter what degree...

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Posted on May 26th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)
 

Binary Nation 01101001: The Grand Inquisitor DDS, DD – A One-Act Play 

(CURTAIN OPENS on a typical dentist’s cubicle. All of the usual trappings can be seen; x-ray machine, instrument tray, etc.  A nervous man is sitting upright in the dentist’s chair.) AJ (nervously reciting) I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. (Dentist enters stage right. He is a pleasant looking man, dressed in the professional garb of his practice.) DENTIST Ahh, hello AJ. How are you doing today. AJ Dantooine! They’re on Dantooine! (hangs head in shame) DENTIST I’m sorry? AJ There. I’ve told you where the Rebel base is. Are y...

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Posted on April 14th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)
 

Binary Nation #01101000: Storytellers 

When I was a kid, my mother once said to me: “Do you know how I know when you’re lying? Because your lips are moving.” This statement, which led me to undertake an obsessive, summer-long study of ventriloquism, had another unforeseen impact on my young mind. It planted a seed of self-identity that has since grown into an unwieldy plant-based metaphor creeping vine kind of thing. That is, it made me realize that I was a natural storyteller, and a lover of stories. I love a good story. Whether it’s captured on film, on the printed page, or told around a campfire at Camp Crystal Lake just before the slaughter begins, there is nothing mor...

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Posted on February 20th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)
 

Binary Nation #01100111 / CE$ $exy 

“I’ll tell you this,” Vector said after we’d received our brunch orders from the waitress, “the first person who says ‘Internet of Things’ to me, is taking a knee to the groin.” “That seems harsh,” I said, dredging a piece of steak through my over-easy eggs. “Understandable; beyond contestation, certainly. But harsh.” “Right in the crotch,” Vector vowed, digging into his breakfast chilli. Vector seldom brooks any nonsense, and I am not much of a nonsense brooker myself, which is why we usually get thrown out of the Consumer Electronics Show every year. The CES is a very nonsense-heavy affair, and it brings out the w...

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Posted on January 20th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)
 

#01100110/Auld Lang Sign-off 

When you look back at the top technology and science stories from the past twelve months, you discover that this year was pretty much just an incremental update to last year: 2014 was basically 2013.2. We’re still being spied on by our governments. Everyone still has a camera at all times. Our gadgets are slightly more powerful, but are still limited by the current state of battery technology. The companies that usually make a lot of money, well, they made a lot of money this year. Meet the new Apple, same as the old Apple. There were a lot of drones flying around in the news this year. Some of them were spy drones. Some of them were silent ass...

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Posted on December 8th, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)
 

Binary Nation #01100101: It’s All Nonsense 

As our planet skips along its merry way to a population of 8 billion people (which should happen in 2025, just over ten years from now), the chaos and lunacy is being captured by a remarkably efficient and proficient professional media industry, in concert with dedicated amateurs who blog and log the ever-growing manipulation and violence driving our species towards a bleak future of overpopulation, energy depletion, and the eventual breakdown of human civilization. It’s the news! The news is on! It’s always on these days, always available, updated every minute of every day. And, it’s all nonsense. “It’s all nonsense,” has become...

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Posted on November 7th, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)
 

Binary Nation #01100100 “Loopy” 

There are many different ways to be awoken. A few of them can be quite pleasant, particularly if another person is involved… or, if the aromas of fresh coffee and a hot breakfast are employed to gently rouse your brain into consciousness. But, these gentle interventions are the exception to the rule. The waking experience is, by its nature, usually less than pleasant. It generally involves alarm clocks, or the screaming of overly-entitled children who should already be off working in the coal mines or munitions factories, or the acrid smell of something burning, or the sudden drastic change in temperature that accompanies rising flood waters. O...

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Posted on October 8th, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)
 

The Pig Out 

I met Vector for lunch last week, which for both of us usually happens around 4:00 PM based on our individual sleep patterns. The waitress came to our table and poured coffee. “What can I get you boys?” she asked. “Do you have those sandwiches, the ones with bacon in them?” I asked. “A BLT?” she asked. I narrowed my eyes. “I understand the ‘B’, given the context of my previous question. What are the ‘L’ and ‘T’, respectively?” “Lettuce and tomato,” she answered. I nodded my head slowly. “Okay,” I said. “Okay, let’s see where this goes.” She stood there patiently, pen and pad poised....

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Posted on August 20th, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)
 

Is Windows 8 Done For? 

It’s been less than two years since Windows 8 was released to the general public. Windows 8 was a bold move by Microsoft, its attempt to create a version of its massively popular operating system that could power multiple types of hardware, enabling the use of touchscreen PCs and tablets while maintaining support for conventional desktop users. Windows 8 was all about bringing a single OS to the desktop/tablet party, by offering a hybrid experience that could accommodate keyboards, mice, and fingertips. Windows 8 was the launch pad of Microsoft’s strategy to gain some relevance in the mobile computing market, a market dominated by Apple’s iPad...

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Posted on August 14th, 2014 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments (0)