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Binary Nation #01110101: The Year of Living Horrendously 

“Good afternoon members of the press. I am A.J. Axline—yes, THE A.J. Axline. Thank you for coming out to the Binary Nation today. I have some brief remarks to make, after which the sandwiches you were promised will be made available. Please check the signs in front of the trays for gluten-free and vegan options. Coffee will be made available. We have no decaf. If you are unable to drink normal coffee, nature has selected you for extinction. Soybeans and almonds will be made available for those of you who milk them.” “Here we go.” “2016 was a bad idea. Clearly it was not properly tested before being launched. 2016 has made Windows Vist...

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Posted on November 18th, 2016 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments Off

Binary Nation #01110100: Eggs and Morality 

I recently had a remarkable spiritual experience shopping for Eastern European brides… and by "spiritual" I mean "infuriating" and by "Eastern European brides" I mean "a carton of eggs." Go ahead and parse that out; I'll be over here pulling on my rant boots. Here's the scene: I'm in a supermarket at 10:00 PM. I am there to purchase three things: milk, coffee cream, and eggs. There are maybe six other customers in the entire store. We all look like the type of people who go grocery shopping after 10:00 PM-night shift workers, lonely single men, and under-employed tech writers who secretly wish they were playing bass guitar in a psychobilly band...

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Posted on October 13th, 2016 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments Off

Binary Nation #01110011: Coming This Fall 

"All right, we're meeting with the network executives next week to discuss ideas for new TV series," I told the gathered participants in the official Binary Nation meeting room, also known as the gazebo hot tub and gin parlor. "I've brought us together to brainstorm ideas to pitch to them. I'm going to open the floor—er, hot tub—and let everyone bring their creative brilliance to bear." Twenty minutes of silence passed. "Zombie Survivor," Vector said abruptly. "What was that?" I asked. "Zombie Survivor," he repeated. "A reality show that challenges teams of contestants to stay alive in a remote location populated by ho...

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Posted on August 25th, 2016 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments Off

Binary Nation #01110010: You’ll Be Terminated 

The Terminator is back. More precisely, it’s come back for your job, Sarah Connor. Let’s see if you can raise a decent future leader of the human resistance on food stamps and welfare checks. A growing number of industry voices are warning that millions of currently employed citizens are going to lose their jobs to robots and AI systems over the next ten years. A recent White House report predicts that 83% of jobs paying $20/hour or less will be "machine sourced" over the next decade, and over 30% of jobs paying $20-40 per hour will suffer the same fate. This isn’t just fast food joints and Wal*Marts, folks; multiple white collar and blue coll...

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Posted on July 27th, 2016 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments Off

Binary Nation #01110001: Old Goat 

The other evening saw Vector and I playing 3-cushion billiards at our preferred gentlemen’s club. Vector had some sort of smart drink which he claimed had been banned by the European Union. I had gone more conservatively, sipping a vanilla cola and pausing occasionally between shots to vape some spearmint peyote. The governing board of the gentlemen’s club permits us our small idiosyncrasies, so long as we honor the dress code—suit and tie in non-garish colors, dress shoes, and no sombreros—and keep any knowledge of the strange rituals taking place in the club’s attic (primarily involving animals, sauerkraut, and young attractive paralegal...

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Posted on June 7th, 2016 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments Off

Binary Nation #01110000: Children’s (Meal) Crusade 

There is a new religion in the world today. It has its different sects and related cults. It has its moderates, who are doing what they think is right for them, and it has its fundamentalists who want to bully everyone into following their scripture. And speaking of scripture, every sect and cult has its holy books and literature which all manage to disagree with each other, even though they all say the same thing: this is the true way, the only way, that you should be. This new religion is food. And no matter what you’re currently eating or how you’re eating it, there are millions of worshippers ready to tell you you’re doing it wrong. Pic...

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Posted on March 22nd, 2016 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments Off

Binary Nation #01101111: Momentarily Awkward Silent Night 

Vector (which is his real name), Robert the Bruce (whose real name is neither Robert nor Bruce), Red Sonja (whose name is not Sonja, but who has red hair and owns a sword), and I were sitting on the floor around the low table in the living room, having a traditional mug of caffeinated eggnog which I call Caffnog (trademark pending). The fireplace had a curved monitor sitting in it, showing a looping video of a blazing Yule log. We had all given each other drones for our secret Santa gift exchange—which apparently isn’t very secret. We immediately bundled up and took our gifts outside to have an epic drone dogfight until they were all too damaged...

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Posted on December 23rd, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments Off

Binary Nation #01101110: The Case of the Missing Homophone 

The night was gloomier than a BlackBerry corporate earnings call, and wetter than an OtterBox. Normally I wouldn’t have met a client outside of my office. But, this odd Scandinavian would only meet me at a certain diner on a certain evening… and I had a certain empty bank account and certain bills past due to coerce me into meeting with him. Me? I’m Jack Dinn. I’m a private geek. It’s what I do to keep the Internet on. I stepped into the diner and shook rain from my jacket. The place was a throwback diner, a modern pastiche of a retro concept—kind of like this story. I spotted a guy sitting alone in a booth. His description matched...

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Posted on November 9th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments Off

Binary Nation #01101101: New Resolution—Vote No on 4K 

A few years ago, everyone involved in the visual entertainment industry was going ape-poop crazy over 3D movies. Hollywood and the consumer electronics manufacturers wanted all of us to run faster than a knock-off Rolex to our local Cineplex Barn (72 screens! Nothing on!) to watch movies with 3D glasses pasted over our peepers. That experience was supposed to inspire all of us to replace our crappy hi-definition home theatre gear with brand new 3D movie players hooked up to brand new 3D televisions, with maybe a new 3D games console you could control with an app on your new 3D tablet. 3D was, as we were breathlessly told by sweaty-faced marketing d...

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Posted on September 9th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments Off

Binary Nation #01101100: Let’s Give it a Shot 

Hello, my American friends. There has been a lot of talk recently about the gun problem, or the lack of a gun problem, in your country. You may have heard there will likely be more gun-related deaths than traffic-related deaths in America this year. You may have read that there have been over 60 mass murders involving firearms in the U.S. since 1982. You may have seen a map showing that six of the deadliest shootings in U.S. history have taken place in the last eight years. And so on. But, if there is a gun problem in America, there is no simple solution for it. You can’t just go around limiting people’s access to guns; what if the King of...

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Posted on July 27th, 2015 in ExamForce's Blog » Binary Nation | Comments Off